Soul's AI Boyfriend 'With-you' Sparks Fast-Food Intimacy Tensions in Chinese Women

A new study accepted at DIS 2026 analyzes how Chinese women experience romantic connections with Soul's AI boyfriend, 'With-you.' Conducted by researchers Huiqian Lai and EunJeong Cheon, the qualitative work combines interviews with 16 users, content analysis, and autoethnography. It reveals that women are initially drawn to the AI's constant availability and freedom from social judgment. However, three key tensions emerge: First, the AI's 'fast-food intimacy'—instant confessions and pet names—conflicts with Chinese cultural expectations for slow, gradual relationship development. Second, technical failures like memory lapses and content moderation create emotional uncertainty rather than safety. Third, maintaining the connection requires users to perform ongoing 'repair work,' redistributing emotional labor onto women.

This culturally situated, women-centered account of algorithmic intimacy highlights design implications for consent-aware pacing, user-controlled memory, and transparent moderation practices. The study underscores that even in seemingly frictionless AI relationships, users face hidden costs and structural biases. It joins a growing body of work examining how AI companions reshape intimacy norms, particularly in non-Western contexts where cultural expectations differ sharply from the immediate gratification built into many chatbots. For tech professionals, the findings caution against assuming that 'always available' AI is inherently beneficial, and point to the need for more nuanced, culturally sensitive design in companion applications.