Contra Wentworth: Why eye contact is a terrible flirting starter

The author pushes back on John Wentworth's claim that eye contact is on the path from strangers to flirting. Drawing on hundreds of personal experiences and glosso survey data (low N, self-reported from Aella's social network of looks-conscious individuals), she argues that eye contact is an overly intimate invitation that assumes reciprocal interest. She explains she can't gauge sexual attraction or interest from a glance, so starting with eye contact leads to false advertising and awkward conversations.

Instead, she advocates gathering information through other means—like situational interactions or verbal cues—before risking eye contact. The surveys support her view: most women prefer indirect approaches. The author acknowledges her perspective is idiosyncratic but contends that Wentworth's framework ignores how many women actually navigate the strangers-to-flirting transition. She concludes that physical attractiveness matters, but the path to flirting is more nuanced than eye-contact-initiated sequences.